Ninja kitties
by Great Big Sea
Summary: Nash and Joe help Piper La Blonc round up her cats for a long due vet appoinment.


  
  
Authors Note: Hya! I don't (sadly) own Nash Bridges or that kick ass Cuda of his oh well. sniffs   
  
A relaxing day away from the SIU, Joe's trying to get the intimate details of Nash's and Angelina's date while, Piper (Angelina's little sister) is trying to cox the littlest of the three tabby's inside his cat carrier.  
  
Ninja kitties  
  
Oliver the gray tabby sat down on the hood of a yellow convertible sitting the driveway of a very nice large house near the San Francisco Bay. Oliver liked the car- he just didn't like the man's partner that's all.  
When you get shot by a Nerf ball it takes all the fun out off peeing in someone's car. Look at him Nash he's gonna pee in my car again. Joe Dominguez said looking at Oliver from the kitchen window. Bubba how many times do I have to tell you is not gonna pee in your damn car! Nash said sighing. Oh you don't know that! He likes you man! And he hates me! Joe said looking at the cat as if he was the enemy. Listen to me bubba the only reason why he hates you cause you threw a nerf ball at him! Yeah but if he only moved like I asked him to he wouldn't have been hit in the nose! Joe said.  
  
Well I told you! Cats don't listen! They- he didn't know what the hell you were saying to him! It's not his fault! Besides he only likes me because I feed him. Nash grinned. Oh no you don't! You give him cat treats behind Angelina's and Piper's backs! Joe said loudly. That's to keep me on his good side! Nash smiled. Oh yeah? You think your gonna stay on the cats good side? Rocky hates me. That's only because you nearly killed him in your car! Nash said with a sigh. Joe smirked, at least he heard my car horn didn't he? Joe said grinning. That's right before I grabbed him by his collar! Nash shouted. Yeah but at least Rocky doesn't pee in my garden when he's over right? You got that right bubba. Nash said.   
  
So- Joe began. So what? Nash asked Joe, I was just thinking your date with Angelina last night- so? Nash asked again. How did it go? I didn't see Angelina up this morning when I came in so does that mean it was a very good date? I'm hoping? Joe asked with a grin.  
What? Sure it was uh- good. It was uh- just only good! C'mon! Nash-man! You had a date with a very gorgeous woman! Who I'm saying could have any guy. Joe said grabbing a Pepsi from the fridge. Fine what do you want me to say? Joe grinned. So uh- did it end up with going back to her place? Joey sniggered. Not funny bubba!I think it's cute that your dating a guy who's the same age as our father. Piper La Blonc said with a grin. And what are you saying Piper?  
That maybe me and Matthew and you two could go on a double date? Piper said still with the same grin. No. I don't think so. Angelina said amused. Okay but it would have been fun. Piper said getting up leaving the room. And I doubt that Nash would like to go to a country bar. Angelina said. And I'm just saying dancing to a George Strait song is romantic that's all. Piper said leaving her older sisters room.  
  
The La Blonc's house was styled in the age of modern 1940's it was three floors with seven rooms. two on the third floor one bedroom with a office and the kitchen on the second or main floor whichever. And on the third floor (more like the basement) were four bedrooms and a large family room. It was a large house and very homey and a very large bedroom for Rocky the husky to run around on. And for the four cats to hide. Imagine trying to find three gray colored tabby's who were trying to hide from you.   
  
Have you seen Tucker? Piper asked Joe and Nash in the large comfy kitchen. No, but I think Oliver's having a sun bath on Nash's car. Joe said still watching from the kitchen window. And where's Kelsey? Piper asked. Nash said quietly. Ahh Joe try to stop looking at my cat he'll start thinking that your trying to kill him and Rocky again. Piper said leaving the room. It's not my fault your cat's are evil Piper. Joe said casually. She left the room Joe. Nash said. Good now hand me that ladle and frying pan time to whack me some kitty-  
  
Joe! Your not gonna kill anyone! Or cats for that matter! Time to make you and Ollie over there friends! Now make Steve Irwin and become friends for goodness sakes! Nash said pushing Joe outside into the three car garage and pulling him towards the Cuda were Oliver looked up and meowed at the two men. Oliver- Joe- Joe- Oliver. Now be NICE! Nash said irritably and then left to go back inside the house. So uh- I hear you might have a girlfriend Oliver. Joe said to the tabby.  
  
Let me tell you about the three tabby's Oliver was the psychotic one, while Tucker was the more laid back of the three, while Kelsey was more timid and shy. Kelsey were are you? I have something that might interest you. Piper called out in the family room she knew that he had to be in here- she saw the end of a tail and she knew that he had to come racing in here. Were are you pussy? She asked. Kelsey poked his head of out underneath the coach. There you are! I have something for you inside your cat carrier! Piper tried to cox him out. I didn't want to have to do this but you give me no choice. She said and grabbed one of his beloved toys it was a stuffed mouse. Kelsey stuck out his nose again and then saw his beloved toy mouse she grinned and squeezed it. It made a funny squeak.   
  
Kelsey made a beeline for the mouse and Piper threw in into the carrier the tabby ran inside and then picked up the mouse with his mouth and placed it under his right paw. Piper said happily and then closed the carrier with her left hand and then picked it up and then walked up the stairs quiet slowly.   
  
I'm not gonna tell you anything Joe! It was a simple date! Nash said loudly. Yeah but do you know how long it took you to finally get her to go out with you? Joe said more loudly then Nash. Okay okay okay! You made your point! What do you want to know? Nash said with a long sigh. Joe said with a smirky grin.  
  
Ahh, I finally got Kelsey-baby. Piper said placing the carrier on the kitchen marble counter. It only takes you three minutes to get him. Joe said with a frown. Yeah I know but I like to rub it into your faces. Piper said with a grin. She jumped onto the marble counter near the sink and then grabbed two sets kitchen mitts from the drawer above the stove. Then she jumped back down and handed the mitts to Joe and Nash. And these are for? Joe asked.   
  
I need your help on getting Tucker and Oliver now Tucky is easy to get now Oliver is a different story. Piper said with a sniff and then grabbed the carrier with Kelsey licking his beloved fake mouse. Why is licking that damn mouse of his? Nash asked. Oh uh- he thinks he caught it a month ago, we only got it from PetSmart so don't tell him if he's near you. Piper said and then walked outside in the garage. Both Joe and Nash shook their heads. Oliver was still on the Cuda sun bathing he was spread eagle and looked quiet happy. I'll open the cage while you two surround the cat. Piper said. And why the hell are we going after the cat? Why can't you? Joe asked her. I'm holding the the carrier! Piper said. Nash grinned walked over to the car and put the key in the ignition and started up the engine. The loud engine woke Oliver up he jumped up meowering,  
then did a double eight up in the air. Joe watched in awe, Piper surprised, and Nash grinned. Then: _Plop! _ Poor Ollie landed on Joe! Who ran around looking like a chicken with it's head cut off. Oliver jumped off of poor Joe who looked like a spooked horse Oliver ran away while Piper threw the carrier at Joe who caught it Nash laughed while Piper tried to catch the peeved off kitty.  
  
Piper finally caught the struggling Oliver and the dumped him inside the carrier and then closed it up. Two set of paws with claws jet out of the carrier door and started to try to grasp anything to stratch. Oliver began to spit and growl and hiss. Why didn't start with Oliver!? Joe spat. If I started with these two then they would have jet out when I put Kelsey in! Piper said and grabbed the carrier with the two cats with Joe (and a grinning Nash) left to find the last cat Tucker.  
  
Well I'm glad that you could come back so early from from JAG headquarters- Oh? That's just Tucker- the cat's first check up in months. Jonathan La Blonc said with a amused smile. Hey here's an idea- why don't we take a meatball and then fill it with Gravol or something? Joe's voice said coming from the top of the stairs. No! Are you nuts Joe? Your not gonna drug a cat! Nash shouted. Well what do you want me to do then? Hit him? Joe called back down. Nash sighed. There has to be a easier way. Piper sighed. Maybe we should just wait until the little guy tires out? Thai said who was an unwilling helper.   
  
That's a good idea- if he wasn't high on cat nip! And guess who feed him the cat nip!? Joe called out. Oh no bubba! Your not pinning that one on me! Nash shouted. Your the one who feeds them treats!  
Joe shouted. Well your the one who tries to kill them! Nash shouted.  
I don't try to kill them! They just have death wishes! Joe shouted back down. Hell if I lived in this house I would too. Thai said quietly._ I have four days off! And I only wanted to relax! _Nash thought irritably. Tucker stuck his nose out of the corner of Piper's large room and then snuck around in the bathroom and then towards Joe who walked down the stairs. Tucker walked towards Piper sat down and then looked up at her and meowed. I think that means he's giving up. Thai said quietly. I think all of this yelling scared our poor Tucky didn't it Tucker? Yes yes. Piper said with a funny voice and buried her head in the cat furry tummy.  
That's it? You only- we- didn't do anything! Joe sputtered. Well maybe he got bored of hearing your voice! Nash shouted laughing. That's not funny! I find my voice soothing! Joe shouted after him. Okay you two, I'm putting Tucker inside and no funny business you hear? Piper told the two cats. So you finally got the last cat didn't you? Good I think we might as well take them to the vet now. Hopefully they are subdued so Dr. Whitecomber doesn't have to take the carriers roof off. Dr. La Blonc said with a smile. He always takes the roof of it's no surprise. Piper said.  
  
I think we can get them inside again, it's the one thing- you can't get them inside but when you leave they get inside willingly. Angelina said.  
I think they know the horror that they are about to experience. I think they know about the vet and it's horrors. Aunt Lil said with a grin.   
  
The vets not that scary at all, you just have to make sure that a certain yellow car doesn't start up when Oliver sees it. Angelina said shooting a look at Nash. Uh- I-uh- thought it would work. Nash said quietly looking red in the cheeks. Oh it did all right! Worked like a charm! Piper said looking like a proud admiral servaing her fleet. Okay we'll get going drop Piper off at drama class and be back by six. Angelina said sitting in shot gun of the Cuda. Yeah and make sure that those cats of hers doesn't kill me. Joe said looking at the two swaying claws of Oliver the cat.   
  
The three cats got a good bill of health Tucker amused himself by batting imaginary mice in the air and throwing paper on the ground. While Oliver proudly showed off twenty sets of sharper claws much to the annoyance of the doctor who sported many scratches and bite marks. And Kelsey just sat there hiding in the cat carrier the family knew Dr. Whitaker for more than three years but Kelsey liked to sit in the carrier and always had to be prompted out of the carrier by his beloved mouse.  
  
Nash parked the car at the newly renovated SIU parking lot and walked through the automatic doors Joe who was talking with Eddie McNamara stopped talking when Joe saw Nash come in. Go on. Nash prompted them. Joe shrugged and kept on talking about something. Walking upstairs Piper sat on his chair playing his PS2 which they jacked from evidence locker. He stopped at the foot of the stairs and looked at Piper.  
  
Aren't you supposed to be in school right about now? Nash asked pointing a finger at Piper. Yeah, but class got canceled I had only one today. Piper said and continued: And I figured I would hear your side of the story of your date with my older sister. My twenty-five year old sister I mean. Piper said with a sly grin. Oh your good sister very good. Nash said. Yeah I get it from her. Piper pulling a chair over. Oh and if you two had sex just forward past it please. Piper said looking straight at him. Nash said. Oh let me handle Joe will you? I have something I need for him to do. She said with a sardonic smile as she got out of his chair and walked the front of it and sat on the edge. And what would that be? Nash asked. It's Rocky's turn to go the vet and since your tagging along with us to Victoria on vacation back home, I thought it would be easier for Joe to take Rocky. And since we can't take the cats with us- I'm taking the cats. Harvey said quickly taking two steps at a time with Joe just behind him. You!? Know way! I want the damn cats- I mean those er- those precious cats of yours! Joe said quickly. I called them first! Harvey said loudly.  
  
Harvey gets the cats- and you- Joe get Rocky. Piper said with a grin.  
You hate me don't you? This is punishment for always hitting your cats and dog with nerf balls isn't it? Joe asked her. Nash grinned. Oh here you go! Piper said and she grabbed a big baby bag from the side of Nash's desk and then pushed it into Joe Dominguez's hands. It has all of Rocky's toy's his bed- and his baby blanket and his favorite dvd's- Piper said counting off of her fingers. Harvey sniggered. A dog doesn't need a baby blanket! Joe replied. Rocky does bubba. Nash replied. Oh and he likes the USA channel, you know Martial Law- Magum, pi Diagnosis Murder- You do have more then just basic cable do you Joe? She asked him. Harvey grinned. Yes we have a damn dish! Joe's voice leaning onto being very peeved.  
  
Good! See ya! Nash said with a grin and waving. Oh and Harv- Yeah boss? Harvey asked knowing what was coming. You have the bridge. Nash said with a grin. Okay number one get back to work! I'm not paying you just to sit around! Harvey laughed. You don't pay me Harv. Joe said with a confused look. Oh- just let me have this little moment of ours! (he grinned) I always wanted to say that! Harvey grinned a little. Oh and I almost forgot! Rocky! Piper said she and Rocky walked half way up the stairs and then put the leash around Joe's wrist have funny honey! Piper cooed. Oh thanks Pipe. Joe said. Not you! Rocky! (she looked at Rocky directly) Mommy will be back in two weeks and be good for uncle Joe and Harvey you can pick the cats up later. Piper replied and the husky barked happily and she followed Nash down the stairs and outside back to the waiting Cuda.  
  
So how did you get the cats this time Harvey? What? Did you pay her or something? Joe asked. Harvey laughed. I told her how she could beat the DK machine on her Nintendo 64. Harvey grinned. Joe asked confused. I beat a puzzle game for her twice, and if I beat it for her then I got to baby-sit her tabby's for the two weeks. Harvey grinned again. Oh your good, and so how did you get to be the boss for two weeks anyway? That usually goes to me. Joe said. Oh Nash said that he would let me be the boss if I did beat the puzzle game on Pipers N64.  
Harvey's grin was even bigger.  
  
So let me get this straight- you beat a mini game for Piper so you got to baby-sit the cats for her- and so Piper would stop wailing about it,  
Nash gave you command of the SIU? Joe asked. Harvey said grinning. Joe whistled. Damn you are good, I have to remember that one for next time. Joe said shaking his head all the way back to his desk Harvey just laughed.   
  
Okay! Fine for two day's! No museums! Piper said crankily. Nash prompted grinning. Okay! No ghost tours either for two days! Piper sighed. Thank you that's all I ask! Nash grinned. Oh you better make sure that you pay the three bucks Canadian to see the new Egyptian exhibit at the museum! Piper said with a evil grin. Oh no! No way! I don't do earphones! Nash said turning to look at her. Oh no! Your gonna! If I half to suffer through it so do you! Piper said with a evil grin. Okay fine! But just the once! Piper prompted. Okay okay okay! One art museum! And no modern art either! Nash sighed. See? We can make compromises! You get what you want and I get what I want! See? Makes the whole world work much better. Piper smiled. Who made you agree to the whole earphones thingy? Nash asked her.  
Oh Angelina, I thought it was a good idea. Piper laughed. Great you and your sister just had to like museum's didn't you? Nash moaned. Nahh we get it from our parents unfortunately. Piper grinned.   
  
Nash sighed. Oh and since we've been doing what you want for two day's- we get to go to all of the regular exhibits! And the Imax too!  
Piper said happily. No way! Uh-huh- Okay but I'm gonna tell Angelina why we're not gonna go through the whole museum! Piper smirked. Fine but I'm not gonna enjoy it! Nash moaned while Piper laughed the whole way back home.  
  
THE END!  
  
Authors Note: My second one shot fanfic in two days! Whew! Okay I'm sorry about the bold printing on my Andromeda fanfic yesterday it wasn't supposed to be like that. It was probably human error or a computer error I'm not sure. I'm putting my JQ fanfic on hiatus- it's not uploaded yet- I still need to come up with story ideas and ironically I'm on the fourth or fifth chapter I can't remember. Originally it was gonna be twenty chapters but because of work it was turned down to fifteen chapters. I'm gonna work on my new Andromeda fanfic, right now and that should be uploaded either This Sunday or Tuesday. 


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